Charged - Book One Read online

  Quickly, I realized I didn’t exactly know what happened after I touched Ben in the main hall.

  “Everyone who survived is fine?” My voice was dry and my throat was dry and I sounded like an old man. As I grabbed my throat, Collin filled a glass of liquid and handed it to me. It was not water; it was pink and glowing and I was reluctant to drink it. It smelled almost like orange juice or mango juice and before Collin could persuade me to drink it I’d gulped it all down.

  “The ones we lost have been mourned for already and we were unable to merge with any of them. They all slipped away and no clones were prepared for them. They were all children like me.”

  This basically meant he’d lost almost his entire family. I felt sick and didn’t know what to say.

  “I’m sorry.”

  This information struck me hard and I could feel his pain. Surely they had a heaven.

  “You don’t have a heaven?” This was one of the many things I almost never discussed with anyone.

  “Our heaven is combining ourselves with our loved ones forever. Cloning the elders is a new concept for us. We’ve never extracted an essence, but I believe it’s possible.”

  “Merging.”

  “As you like to call it, yes.”

  “So there’s no euphoric heaven for you?”

  “It’s a human concept. I do respect your beliefs, but it’s different when you have met the people that have written them.”

  This was a conversation I never thought I would be having with Collin. It wasn’t that I was grounded in faith, but for some reason, I thought they were. I tried not to dwell on his response. Grief started to pull at me and I could tell that Collin noticed it, so I tried to think of something else. I tried to remember what happened in the main hall.

  A powerful emotion swam over me and I could feel Collin more clearly. I could feel his sorrow for just a moment before he separated himself from it. It was his mate; she had died. She was only here for a short while from another ship; they had a distant relationship. I drew all of this from Ben’s memories and Collin’s emotions. I wanted to leave the room quickly. I didn’t need Collin feeling my pain or all the rage I had hidden in the recesses of my mind for every killer I hunted down when I was a detective. He seemed to acknowledge this as he looked down and walked across the room away from me.

  “Your suite has been slightly altered for your size. The ceiling height was adequate, but we had to change the furniture and get you some clothes. Aaron has chosen his own private quarters, but I am happy that he is still with us.”

  Aaron had stayed. Aaron was unharmed. This was a relief and I couldn’t blame Aaron for wanting his own room, at least not until he knew I was still me… if I was still me.

  “Please tell me Jessica is okay?”

  “She hid, like Aaron told her to and she’s alive.”

  “Unharmed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Collin, I’m so sorry for your loss. I didn’t mean to touch Ben,” I said.

  “It was obvious he meant to touch you, to bond with you. He couldn’t hold on much longer and I’m pretty sure he was hoping it wouldn’t kill you.”

  There was a long moment of silence and I didn’t know what else to say. Collin was grief-stricken. He had lost a father and many siblings and I’d lost a good friend, possibly the only Tanjennian that accepted me.

  “I think I’ll just go to my suite, if that’s okay,” I said.

  “I can take you there to freshen up. Be careful what you eat; we don’t eat meat. Our bodies can’t process that type of protein.”

  He then reached over to me and flashed a bright light in each of my eyes. Maybe I did still have pupils and just couldn’t see them. The bright light didn’t bother me and he immediately noticed this.

  “If you feel up to it, I’d like to do some stress tests in the morning. And there are a number of people who wanted to be alerted when you woke. Kye and Aaron and a few others—”

  “No,” I interrupted him, “I need some time to think.”

  “I understand.”

  “I know where it is; that’s where I’ll be.”

  I didn’t want to feel his emotions anymore and I was eager to leave. I headed down the long corridor with bare feet and just scrub pants on, trying to get control over my awkward body.

  After I entered the room, I searched for Aaron’s feelings. He was in the room next to me, dreaming of something that pleased him and I could sense Jessica was in his arms. I realized I could differentiate between his and the others emotions. Actually, I was surprised I could feel him at all, because the others couldn’t feel humans. I closed my eyes briefly and felt two aliens across the hall, one of which seemed suddenly alert. Maybe this searching was inappropriate.

  I could feel confusion in the one I alerted and he suddenly brushed against me, as if he reached out and touched me. It was like thick air swept across my chest, air that was full of energy and emotions. He was definitely male and not upset by my probing. All of it felt very eerie. I tried to push up an emotional wall and was able to cut my tie with the room next to me. I could only guess that he didn’t get up and knock on my door because he didn’t know me or because of the hour.

  Then I searched for Kye’s feelings and found her, also sleeping about five rooms down in her same quarters. She was very troubled by something she was dreaming of. I wondered if I could wake her up just by calling to her and if everyone would hear me. I thought about trying to push my emotions towards her and brushing against her as the alien across the hall had just done to me. I tried to push out my feelings to her but only for a moment. Reluctantly, I shoved this thought aside and showered and tried to find something besides a suit to wear. I finally found a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt to put on and I became extremely aware of how hungry I was.

  In the fridge, I found all kinds of vegetables that were not of human origin. Their smells enticed me and I tried a little of each of them. Some were sweet and some very pungent in odor. I consumed almost half the fridge before I felt full. I had no desire for meat, even though I thought about it and the alien food stayed down just fine. They must have been shipping them in, because I remember that we had destroyed the gardens when we were attacked.

  Then I remembered Danel hesitating in the control room and pointing my gun in my face. For a moment, I wanted to track him down in the middle of the night and put a gun in his face. But I had to let it go; I was too exhausted and too sore to do anything like that right now. I could feel Ben’s compassion for Danel inside of me and I tried to let that go, too. Yes, Danel and I would discuss this soon, very soon. They would all know his betrayal of the human that tried to help.

  But Collin warned me I would need to control my emotions, this anger I had for Danel. I tried to access Ben’s thoughts on Kye, but found nothing. I couldn’t access the information for some reason. I seemed to be almost locked out of some parts of Ben’s memories, or maybe it was just too scrambled still. This bothered me, but I let it lie for the night, I needed to rest my very sore muscles now that I had some food in me.

  Then, the door to the suite opened. I wasn’t alarmed; I knew it was Kye. I’d woken her up just by reaching out for one second and I knew she was alone. I could sense this without looking. I raised my head on the pillow and she looked wonderful and I felt like I hadn’t seen her in decades. I felt like I spent the last three years of my life just dreaming of her. She was in some shorts and a tank top. She gave me a glowing smile and closed the door behind her and turned the lights off.

  Slowly, she walked towards me and I could feel that she missed me, too.

  “You’re awake.” She looked elated and relieved. And she didn’t mean “awake” like I was sleeping, but rather “awake” like I was alive. She tried to calm her excitement. I could feel every emotion she was experiencing. This was a relief. I wasn’t sure if she was only drawn to the human part of me.

  “Are you in pain?”

  “Just sore.”

  “I wasn’
t sure you’d wake up. Some days it sounded like your bones were breaking,” she said, her eyes lining with tears.

  “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m okay. Z has been with me this whole time, but you have to be careful. You can’t reach out to us like that when we’re sleeping. We are very sensitive. It felt like you were grabbing me and shaking me out of my sleep.”

  Her voice was breathy and seductive. I almost didn’t hear her words because I was listening so intently to the tone of every syllable she spoke.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to stay awake. Sleep was creeping in on me, which didn’t make any sense. I already slept three weeks, or maybe I didn’t sleep at all. She crawled into the bed with me and curled up next to me putting her head on my shoulder and her arm around my chest. She smelled like jasmine. My beautiful Kye was with me. I hadn’t lost her. A peace filled me inside and even though I could still sense sadness around her, her emotions also revealed how relieved she was to see me.

  “I’ve been watching you change. It seemed very painful,” she said.

  “I don’t remember much.”

  “Keep in mind Danel can sense you, too, but I can teach you how to block him. It’s like putting up a wall.”

  “Screw Danel,” I said, letting out a sigh of exhaustion. “Reach out to me, like I just did to you when I woke you.” I didn’t want to wait to feel her in that way. I wasn’t certain she could do what I was doing, but since she felt me, it seemed logical that she could do the same.

  “No, not like that. Let’s try something else; it’s like a whisper,” she said.

  Suddenly, a warm sensation ran over my entire body, as if it was humming and I could feel her presence inside of me. I reached back in way that was possibly inappropriate and she let out a light gasp which I knew had nothing to do with pain. So I stroked her hair and let her caress everything inside of me. I shoved aside any thoughts that were Ben’s, not caring who else could feel it and we fell asleep, entwined in each other emotionally.

  CHAPTER 42

  KYE WOKE ME around seven-thirty and the coffee was already made. The feeling of her was gone, so I closed my eyes and reached for her emotionally and it was like a wall was up. I was unable to find her, even though she was in the room with me. She let out a light laugh.

  “Later,” she said, smiling.

  “I don’t know if you can digest this,” she said, handing me the coffee as I sat up in the bed, “so be careful. It will cause a lot of pain if you ingest something that isn’t compatible with your body. Take small sips at first.”

  She seemed in a hurry to get out of the room, but she still leaned over and kissed my lips lightly.

  “Everything okay?” I said.

  “Danel just woke up.”

  This explained everything for me, but I was curious why I didn’t feel him. I didn’t want to reach out to him and I was assuming that their bond was closer than I wanted it to be. I wondered if she knew where he was at every moment and if he knew the same about her.

  I knew Danel would pissed. He was always pissed off about something, but I couldn’t stop staring at Kye. With my new eyes, she was absolutely stunning. Her translucent silvery skin now had a blue hue to it, or rather I could see the blue and green hues in it now. I grabbed her gently and pulled her down on top of me and she acquiesced.

  “Tell me now: do you want to be with him?”

  “No.” There was no hesitation in her answer. Her answer was definite, but she was clearly not telling me something.

  She gave me a smile, kissed my neck and left with no further explanation. I jumped out of the bed with a renewed energy, consumed two pounds of alien vegetables in the fridge and tried the strong black coffee. It smelt great and went down smoothly. Maybe I could consume both foods. I would have to look into this further. Suddenly, I could feel Danel. He was moving this way towards my suite and he wasn’t hiding his emotions.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” hesaid, coming right through the door.

  I stood up just to intimidate him. I hovered over him at least six inches taller.

  “Jealous?” I said, grinning ear to ear. He knew that Kye was with me all night. I wondered for a second if it kept him up and the thought pleased me even more.

  He stood there looking up at me, shocked at my growth. Apparently, he wasn’t keeping an eye on me like Kye was. Nope, he wasn’t; he was hoping I would die. I could feel this. I could feel his utter disdain for me.

  Politely, I motioned for him to sit down with me. To show him that even a Neanderthal, as he would say, could be civilized.

  He sat down first, then I sat down, sipping my coffee. I could feel Ben’s emotions inside of me, more compassion for the very thing that considered killing me and then begged me to try and save his people. Emotionally, Danel was unstable. I couldn’t really blame him, could I? I was about to take his companion away, someone who had been there for him for the last ninety-seven years since his wife had died. I had no doubts he was attached to Kye and if he broke the rules to make her, he would break the rules to keep her, too.

  “She doesn’t want to be with you. She’s not your captive anymore,” I said. Yes, I was calm, but my words were like knives. I could’ve chosen a nicer way to say this, but he had already put a gun in my face, so why bother?

  “She was never meant to be a captive!” he snarled at me. It was obvious he was not used to people talking to him this way.

  Meant to be. The confirmation that she was in some way a prisoner stung me and I let my anger slide across my face, hiding nothing, but I kept my voice calm.

  “You considered killing me. Is it because I would take her away?”

  “Check your own memories! Your people slaughtered mine!”

  “Not my people. That was five thousand years ago.”

  “Ben, I know you’re in there and why did you do this—”

  “My name is Lewis!” I said, interrupting him. For a second, I thought he’d lost his mind, like Ben was just going to take over my body and start talking to him. Then I realized that I didn’t know if that was possible, so I tried to stay calm. At the very least, he was trying to overwhelm me with past memories and I wasn’t going to let him control the situation. Ben’s memories pressed forward in my head, along with his emotions. I could feel his compassion for this thing in front of me. Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to comfort him, but I didn’t. I was almost disgusted at the thought. Successfully, I shoved it all aside.

  I saw others crowding around the door that Danel had left open. Most of them were curious and wanted to see what was impossible, what had never happened before. They wanted to see me. I went over politely and motioned for them to give us a minute and closed the door softly. Even though I knew they felt everything we were feeling, or could if they wanted to. I tried to shut my emotions off for a moment. But before I could turn around, he was violently throwing me against the wall. He had me pinned. He was much stronger than I anticipated. He had his right arm jammed under my neck and his full weight behind it. I just looked down at him and smiled to toy with him and then I gave him a hard push across the room.

  I didn’t use all my strength. Even though he had considered killing me in the control room when he had my gun pointed in my face. I still didn’t want to kill him. I wanted to hurt him, but not kill him.

  “You think you can just come down here and take over!” he yelled, getting up off the floor.

  “You think I asked for this? You could’ve warned me!”

  Now my anger was consuming me and he was coming back for more. He grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me sideways onto the coffee table, which smashed into pieces. Unfortunately for him, he let me get back up. I charged at him, grabbing him by the waist and attempted to squeeze the life out of him while he swung repeatedly at my head, causing no real damage. I squeezed his sides tighter and tighter until he stopped swinging. I could feel the panic rising in him. He was strong, but old. Stamina had left him long a
go. After a few moments, I let him drop to the ground and stood over him. He sat there, gasping for air like I’d crushed something.

  “Are we done?” I said, calmness returned to my voice.

  “She won’t be with you.”

  “She doesn’t love you,” I said.

  “You have no idea what you’re saying. She needs me.”

  He let a grimace slide across his face and the confidence in his statement alarmed me a little. I thought about what he could possibly be holding over her. Maybe he could order her to be terminated, like Ben did the others. I didn’t know at this point, but I could sense affirmation in him. After he gained some composure he stood up glaring at me like this was my plan all along. And I did plan to take Kye away from him and he wasn’t going to change that.

  “You lied to us. And don’t think for one moment that I didn’t see you hesitate in the control room. You kept Kye from telling Aaron and me about those things. And you really hoped that absorbing Ben would kill me. Gee, Danel, who should really be pissed, here?” I said glaring at him. “I can feel all of your feelings; don’t bother denying it.”

  “You brought the device back,” he said.

  “Inadvertently. Everything you did was on purpose.” And this was the sad truth.

  After Aaron came rushing through the door, Danel got up and left, shaking his head. But it wasn’t defeat that filled Danel. I could feel everything about him and everything in the aliens beyond the door. But I felt something else from Danel: it was despair. Not just for himself, but for Kye and me. So I let him leave. Now I was more than confused.

  “Wow,” Aaron said, looking up at me.

  “I’m still me, Aaron.”

  “By the looks of this place, I’d say yes, you are and you still have a temper, too.”

  “I just want Kye and me to be together.”